I’ve been on a “de-clutter my house” mission for the last couple of weeks and have found it to be very liberating and wonderful.  It’s easier to keep my house clean, I can find things easier and it’s just refreshing to clear out junk I’ve been hauling around for 20 years.  As I was lifting down one of these boxes filled with my “stuff” I accidentally dropped it and instantly heard what sounded like glass breaking.  I really didn’t think it would be important because I obviously haven’t used it for years.  I was wrong.  Inside I found some little glass play dishes, bowls.  There was a big bowl and 6 tiny bowls that perfectly matched the bigger one.  When I say big bowl, I mean it was about the size of a small cereal bowl.  The others were maybe an inch and a half in diameter.  The play dishes were clear glass with raised bumps all over the outside of them. 

            Instantly my mind raced back to the time when I received these cherished bowls.  I was only about 9 or 10 years old and I was at my Grandma Tillack’s house in Vancouver B.C.  We’d visit there nearly every year.  On this occasion, grandma was showing me her dishes and explaining to me that they were given to her when she was a little girl.  I was fascinated to think that I was holding the actual play dishes that my grandma used to play with. Grandma then gave them to me and said that she wanted me to have them.  She also wanted me to “someday” give them to one of my granddaughters.  It made me feel really special to think that she gave them to me and not one of her other granddaughters or even her daughters.  I wasn’t the oldest or the youngest.  I was just somewhere in the middle.  I felt important and even “responsible” to the task of passing down these family heirlooms.

            I looked down at the bigger bowl and saw that it had broken in several places.  Tears started forming as I felt that I had somehow let my Grandma down.  I thought of the day she gave them to me and about my future granddaughters and then I cried.  I will do my best to glue the pieces together but they’re damaged now and will never be the same.    

            I’ve been thinking about what happened and have been given a measured amount of peace, maybe from my Grandma.  The thought kept coming to me that the dishes were given to me to hand down to my posterity so that they would have something that belonged to Gladys Tillack. It would give me an opportunity to have a conversation to my granddaughter about this remarkable lady and that they would feel closer to her and get to know her a little better.  It’s almost as if I can hear Grandma telling me that “The most important thing is to have the conversations with my children and grandchildren.  The dishes are secondary.”   I think Grandma just wanted to be remembered

            I continue to clean out and organize my house.  I find some things I lost and remember things I had forgotten.  The house, is much like the “stuff” I’ve collected.  It won’t last forever and really isn’t what’s important.  It’s the memories that should be kept and saved for future generations.

            Let it snow;  let it snow;  let it snow….. Just not here anymore!  Now I know I live in Alaska and I shouldn’t be surprised that it snows here occasionally.  I’ve actually lived here for 15 years so I’m not unaccustomed to the winters.  Typically in a year, Anchorage averages 70 inches of snowfall.  That’s quite a bit, but nothing compared to some other Alaskan cities. For example the annual average snowfall in Valdez from October to May is 303 inches. (about 25 feet!) Average high temperature in Jan, Feb in Anchorage is 24 degrees.

            This year has not been typical.  I’ve already mentioned about our subzero temperatures we’ve been experiencing. It seems that every time it does warm up to 10-20 degrees then we get snow, and lot’s of it. One of the biggest snowstorms this year was on January 3^rd.  In one day, parts of Anchorage received 22 inches of snow. To that date, Anchorage had accumulated 57.60 inches of snow.  Believe me, we’ve had a lot of snow since then as well.  The sad thing is that February and March are usually worse.

            This morning I could hear the snowplows and trucks in our cul-de-sac.  YEA!!  We’ve been driving in narrow tunnels for quite a while now.  I didn’t realize what a challenge that would be to drive my daughter to school though.  They had cut through many of the high snow banks and made a berm in the middle of the road. A massive snow blower would then go down the middle of the road with dozens of dump trucks lined up to haul the snow away. I had to back into a few driveways to avoid being crunched. Of course it’s snowing while all this is going on as well. 

            My husband Kevin was in a meeting yesterday where the city manager also happened to be.  They got talking about the snowfall and Kevin found out that the city is already way over budget for snow removal this year.  1342 cul-de-sacs were waiting to be snowplowed and if we get dumped on again they would probably have to declare a snow emergency.  Basically that just means that instead of hauling the snow away they would just blow it into people’s yards. 

            That's why on days like these I browse through websites like vacationstogo.com and check out all the cruises to warm sunny places. 

I was browsing through my journal and ended up reading about our family cruise we took a few years ago.  It was the first one we went on with the kids (without Rachel) and I just had to laugh about all the funny things the kids did and said.  Here are a few of my favorite exerpts.   It’s no wonder I love going on family vacations!

*We got a shuttle to our hotel (the Wyndham) and relaxed for a while.  Then we all went downstairs to the hotel restaurant where we ordered some dinner.  We decided to use this dinner as an "etiquette" dinner.  Through the course of the meal, Marie lifted a big lettuce leaf up to ask what it was, Jennifer held up her chicken patty to ask Michael if he wanted it, Chris laid his head on the plate and "mooed", Michael spilled his ice water all over the floor and table, Marie played with her hair and they all took turns putting their elbows on the table, talking with their mouths full etc...  They all flunked out of "Dining Etiquette 101" I'm hoping for improvement on the cruise. 

*Today started pretty early.  We had to get up at 4:30 and catch a shuttle back to the airport.  Getting checked in wasn't so bad but they did pull Jennifer aside to check out her portable DVD player.  They were checking it for chemicals.  I had to stay with her because they needed a parent.  When we were finished, Jen and I walked over to join the others and I jokingly said that they were checking for R rated movies.  Marie went up to Jen and said, "At least you're over 13 in case they were checking for PG-13 movies".  What made it really funny is that she was totally serious.  Marie has been our comic relief on this trip.  When we were boarding the plane she saw a sign that said to limit her carry on bags to 1 bag and a personal item.  She had 2 small bags but she thought she was going to get into trouble for having a purse inside one of her bags.  We also got a good laugh when she was asking why there were beds on the shuttle bus.  Her question was answered when they started stacking luggage on them.  We decided that henceforth, such comments would be known as “goobyisms”

*One more funny "goobyism", as we were loading our luggage into the back of the taxi van, Kevin told the girls they had to hold the luggage up so he could shut the door.  About 5 miles down the road I could hear Marie saying to Jennifer, "Come on Jen, we have to hold the luggage!"  They had been holding it the whole time!  Kevin just needed them to hold it so he could get the door shut.  I told Kevin that if we didn't bring the kids, we wouldn't have nearly as many laughing opportunities.

*We rode to the top of the tram and looked around a bit and took some pictures.  We decided to rent a car when we were riding on the tram and Jennifer said, "this one?"  I told her that this was a tram, not a car.  That comment will have to go in our "Goobyism" pile, even though Jen said it.

*Michael and Chris both acted like they were going to fall asleep during the meal but at least they didn't snore.  Michael had a couple of "goobyisms".  First he asked the waiter if he could use the bathroom.  The waiter started chuckling and had this surprised look on his face and said, "Of course!  You don't have to ask me to do that!"   Then Michael left and we started talking about how much the kids ate right before dinner.  Michael came back so I asked him if he really did go to the grill and eat 2 hamburgers.  He got this accused look on his face and said, "No!  I just went to the bathroom!!"

It’s almost like reliving the trip when we can read about it and laugh all over again.  It makes me want to take another family vacation.

Why is it in today’s society, women are made to feel that they should get a job rather than just a stay-at-home-mom?  I struggled with this question after I was married and started having children.  I’d go to my husband’s Christmas parties and visit with the other women.  The question about where I worked would always come up and they’d give me the condescending “good for you” and would move on to talk with other people.  Over the years I observed many such attitudes.  I often thought about my own value as a person and wondered if I was contributing enough to society or even my family just by taking care of my children and the house.  My husband is and always has been loving and completely supportive of me staying at home.  This was more of an internal struggle. 

            My own mother was a stay at home mom.  It was normal for moms to be at home then.  Only a few had jobs or careers and usually only when economics demanded it.  I have very fond memories of my childhood, of being around my mother.  I’d accompany her to the store or church or even to the neighbor’s house where she got her hair cut. I’d help her with chores and learn how to cook, sew and clean.  I mostly remember coming home from school, every day, and she’d be there waiting to hear about my day.  I always had someone there who cared if I had a good day or a bad one.  I felt like we have a pretty close bond with each other but as I get older, I suspect she has a pretty close bond with my siblings as well. We were all instructed in gospel principles, in how to be good citizens and in how to treat other people.  I greatly admire and respect my mother for the support and strength she gave my Dad, for running the household and for raising and taking care of 7 children. 

            Now I think about society and how the social problems seem to be on the rise.  It seems interesting that as more and more women are leaving the home (by choice, not necessity) families begin to fall apart.  I know my own mother was such a stabilizing influence on me.  I can’t help but think if every mother were like my mother, children wouldn’t grow up and want to be in gangs or turn to crime.    

            I have 5 great kids that mean the world to me.  I hope to be as good of a Mom to them as my mother was to me.  Even though I’m not a successful career woman, I know now that I am contributing greatly to society and most importantly to my family.

            I live in Alaska now but I grew up in Idaho.  I remember the winters being very cold and snowy in my youth.  Frequently we’d get up early and turn the radio on to see if school was cancelled because of heavy snow or low temperatures.  They would shut the schools down when it was -25 outside.  Sometimes we didn’t get the word school was cancelled so we’d walk down the lane to wait at the bus stop.  Sometimes the wind had drifted over the lane making the trek even harder.  We’d wait at the bus stop for 15-20 minutes until the neighbor lady would yell out at us that our Mother had called and said that school was cancelled.  We didn’t even mind having to walk back home over the snowy lane on those days.

            Anchorage isn’t typically like the harsh Idaho winters I remember in my youth. We have plenty of snow but the temperature is generally around 15 to 20 degrees F.  The last few weeks haven’t been typical. First we got dumped on with about 21 inches of snow.  Then it got really cold outside. They don’t shut school down here for being cold.  Last Monday it was -20 out and we get a phone call from my daughter Marie.  She was driving from her basketball practice to watch another basketball game and she said she got stuck in a snow drift.  She lost her cell phone several months ago so she’s using a neighbors phone. Kevin (my husband) and I get some tow straps and a shovel and go to find her. We finally find her in a secluded side road (she took a shortcut) totally plowed into this snow bank. “Getting stuck in a snowdrift” was a major understatement.   It’s freezing cold out, she has a sweatshirt on as her coat, no cell phone and no winter supplies in the car. I wasn’t expecting her home for a couple more hours.  It took us over an hour and a good Samaritan helping us to get her out.  This accident was caused by slick roads and probably she was going too fast.

            It could have been a lot worse under the circumstances and if there is a lesson to be learned here it would be to dress appropriately for the weather and to have snow gear and preferably a cell phone when driving in the winter.  I’ve lived in Idaho for about 20 years and now Alaska for 15 years.  I’m thinking of someplace warm with no snow or subzero temperatures for my next 20 years!!!

As a mother of 5 children (3 of which are driving age) I know the concern and fear most mothers experience every time their kids leave the house.  This is worse during the winter months when icy or snowy roads and the long days of darkness are the norm. (We live in Alaska)  My first daughter helped ease my mind a bit though.  She’s at college now and has never been in an accident or gotten a ticket.  She did get stuck once trying to back out of a driveway during a snowstorm, but that’s about it.  My kids were doing so well with their driving and good grades that even the insurance company was offering reduced rates.

Then my 2^nd daughter got her license.  In Alaska there is a probationary period of 6 months where a newly licensed teenager can only drive siblings without an adult in the car.  If there is an accident or even a ticket in that time period the 6 months start over.

On October 12^th I start my normal routine of going into the Alaska club to workout.  I get there about 5:30a.m. and I’m finished by 6:10.  I start driving home and see half a dozen firetrucks, police cars and paramedics completely blocking off the other side of the road. I drove by slowly on the other side and see this completely mangled green car.  I can’t tell what kind of a car it is.  My daughter and son would have been traveling on that road to get to an early morning class and so being the paranoid mother that I am, I start to worry that maybe it could have been our car that was in the middle of that flurry of confusion.  I pull into the middle school across the street to figure out what to do.  Then it dawns on me that if it were my kids, I may have a message on my cell phone.  Sure enough I have one new message.  My heart is pounding by now.  I envision them dead or crippled in the hospital.  The message is from my son Michael.  I’m relieved to hear him speaking.  That was a good sign.  He was very calm and said this quite matter of fact voice, “Mom, We’ve been in a car accident ….and…. it looks like they might be taking us to the hospital….. so….. it would be really great if you could come down here.”  In the back ground I can hear Marie crying.  Even though they had flipped the car 3 times and it was totaled, they weren’t taken to the hospital.  The paramedics checked them out and they only received a few cuts and scrapes and some stiff back muscles the next few days.  I contribute their lack of injuries on the fact that they were both wearing their seat belts and through the power of prayer.  We frequently pray for safety as our family leaves each morning.  Marie would be harassed and teased about bagels and cream cheese (the accident was caused when she tried to wipe off excessive cream cheese from her bagel) but if a lesson was learned to “drive safely” then it would all be worth it.  She was most upset that her probationary time had to restart and she won’t be able to drive friends until April.  Her driving did improve since then…. At least until last Monday…..

---Look for my next blog for the latest gray hairs caused by my 2^nd eldest daughter!